Spring Morning

Yesterday morning was the perfect spring morning.  This is the morning that I have fantasized about every winter morning while I was searching for the missing glove or stocking cap for the kids, or scraping the ice off the windshield, or searching for the rescue inhaler because the cold air triggered my step-son's asthma when we were running that daily marathon of trying to get to work and school.  And always, I have had the image in my mind of this - a rain-washed morning that smelled of fresh grass and ozone with birds singing outside my window.  In my fantasy, I hop out of bed, slide into my fluffy slippers, and go outside to answer the call of the singing birds, drinking the best cup of french press coffee ever (with real cream) while I sit on my expansive back deck and revel in the beauty of this world I get to call home.

 (Now I need a sound effect like a needle being dragged over an old record...)

In my reality I actually hit the snooze button when the alarm goes off at 5:45 a.m. because I've just gotten to a good part of my dream that was so rudely interrupted when my husband was up at 5 a.m. and needed me to get up and help him find some clean socks which were buried at a depth of 2 feet in the clean-but-needs-to-be-put-away pile of laundry on the couch.  Around 6 I actually wake up and note that it is a gorgeous morning, that the birds are singing, and....oh no!  I've got to get in the shower right now or I will make my step-daughter late for her 45 minute primping session in the bathroom and that will make us all late for the rest of the day!  And then with that rude awakening ensues a whirling dervish of activity including but not limited to a lightening fast shower, waking up one kid, making a health breakfast, digging through the laundry pile for my favorite pants, digging through the dirty clothes for my favorite pants, waking up another kid, finally looking in the closet and finding my favorite pants right where they belong, a crisis because my step-son has outgrown his pants over the weekend, packing the lunches, not finding my other shoe (and I do have to wear this pair because they make my outfit "pop"), watching my step-son trying to skip his healthy breakfast by eating it one molecule at a time, watching the weather, doing something with this wild head of hair, and finally we head out the door, only 10 minutes behind schedule.........Only to realize that my step-son forgot his backpack, AGAIN, so we run back in the house, I grab the cup of coffee I forgot on the first trip out the door, jump in the car, speed off to drop the kiddos at school and then I head to work and ........(big sigh) just getting out the door has worn me out.

Of course, there are a few other small details such as the fact that my not-so-expansive deck still needs to be built, I don't have a french press for my coffee, can't drink real cream because it will make me fat, and my fuzzy slippers are really just ratty slippers - all of which might prevent my perfect fantasy morning from coming true.  

So much of the time I feel like my life is a train pulling out of the station and I'm racing along beside it, heaving my luggage on and trying to jump on at the last second.  I worry that my kids, my work, my school, paying the bills, working at church, being a wife, and all the other good things I try to cram into life are robbing me of the ability to just enjoy the little things.

I'm sure that there is some technical name for my condition (like workaholic....over-achiever....) but I think of it as Martha-syndrome.  Martha was so busy getting everything just right that she didn't have time for our Lord when He was visiting in her own home.  In how many ways does my Lord visit me each day through the beautiful creation outside my window, or in the kids' laughter, or in the small pleasures like a cup of coffee in the morning, and how many times do I rush right by and fail to even recognize these as tokens of His constant presence and love for me?

My resolve for this week is to actually stop and enjoy the mornings, to take time to drink that cup of  cheap coffee on my crumbling back step while I listen to the birds singing and watch the sun come up, or to smell the beautiful little wild flowers by the back fence.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect because I'm not perfect.  But God is perfect, and He gives me good and perfect gifts every day, if I will just pay attention.    Let me not squander God's little gifts by never taking time for them.